Seperate Rooms

It all started when I was pregnant. I had restless leg syndrome, and didn't sleep well so I started sleeping in our spare bedroom. When Declan was born it was just easier some nights if he, and I stayed in a room alone. Then when I started working graveyard I wouldn't get home until 5 in the morning and didn't want to bother my boyfriend so I just slept in the spare bedroom. Honestly, the only time we shared a bed was on my days off. Two days a week. Sex life? You do the math. Now the restless leg stuff doesn't bother me. Declan sleeps own his own a lot. I no longer work graveyard, but for the better part of four years I've been sleeping alone. Since I work a pretty normal schedule now, I sleep in the bed with my boyfriend a little more often than two days a week, but I wouldn't call it normal by any stretch of the imagination. I KNOW this is not good for my relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with him. I have just gotten so comfortable sleeping alone. The other day he told me he felt like we were just roommates, and it broke my heart. I don't want to hurt him. I'm gonna be honest.. I'm not a very sexual person. I never have been. Maybe I'm more comfortable sleeping alone because I don't have to worry about that part of sharing a bed with a man. I know this bothers him, but I don't know how to fix it. This is our number one argument. This is probably our only real argument. I'm scared for our relationship. Should I go talk to someone? My friends just think I'm weird. One has accused me of 'not really liking' my boyfriend, which isn't the case at all. There is definitely something wrong. I don't know if I can fix it by myself. As I type this.. I am in one room, and he is sleeping in the other. He is frustrated with me. He thinks I don't love him anymore.

I do. I love him, and I want to fix this.. I just don't know how. I feel very lost, and broken. I want to make him happy. I want us to be happy together, but that isn't going to happen if we're not even in the same room.

I don't want him to give up on me.. On us.